Forgiven but still feel resentment? Try this ✨
Do you ever feel like you have forgiven someone, yet you feel like you haven't really moved on?
Things seem to repeat themselves, and you get triggered again, feeling those feelings and emotions you felt back then.
Sometimes it may be negative self-talk, or thoughts and behaviours that you used as a coping mechanism back then that keep coming back again and again.
THEY. ARE.STILL.THERE.
In the background. Going round in circles.
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This is a discussion we had in my group program recently.
And I recognised myself in the person who was sharing her experience.
I don't hold grudges. I let go and move on...
Yet, not so long ago I was still carrying things with me that I "had" let go of over 20 years ago. I had forgiven. So why was it still there?
When it comes to forgiveness, we think about forgiving others.
But have you considered FORGIVING YOURSELF?
When we are triggered into anger or frustration, for example, it's because we have felt threatened.
If we've let others trespass our boundaries, and walk over our beliefs and values, we may feel hurt and sadness.
And with that comes a feeling of failure. We have failed to defend ourselves.
These feelings may linger...
Maybe like my client and I, you're good at letting them go.
But when we feel threatened again, this anger, frustration, hurt, and sadness will resurface...
Until we practice SELF-FORGIVENESS.
The anguish, hurt, sadness, and anger you still hold is not against the other person- it's against you.
We need to forgive ourselves for letting others trespass our boundaries, and walk over our beliefs and values.
We need to forgive ourselves (or our ego) for failing to defend ourselves against the threat.
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But how do you do it? 🤔
This was the big question during that call!
YOGA NIDRA ✨
Personally, I used yoga nidra as a way to let myself feel both sides of the coin.
By that I mean, acknowledging and feeling the emotions of anger, frustration, hurt, sadness and failure then feeling into self-forgiveness.
If we can feel all of it together, then we can truly move on.
MEDITATION AND AFFIRMATIONS 🧘♀️
Meditate on an affirmation. But don't make it "I AM FORGIVING MYSELF FOR..." because you are NOT YET DOING IT. You are LYING to yourself then and your ego knows better.
Instead, say something like "I allow myself to feel forgiveness for..."
HEART COHERENCE 🧡
Heart coherence practices with a focus on self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
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Has this resonated with you?
Have you been trying to move on from experiences of the past but yet feel like you're still stuck?
If so then just hit reply and let me know your thoughts- you know how much I love hearing from you at the back of my emails and having discussions 🙏🥰
With heart 💜
Virginie